I have refrained and restrained myself from talking about the baby here too much, but here's an update:

My son will be here anytime now.
Anyday now.
ANYtime.
A.NY.TIME.

Everyone is on alert. Every time I call my mother or my brother, their first instinct is "It's time."

It's like that.

Anytime now.

Stay tuned.

Holla!

A couple of...interesting...stories in the news related to food.

First, this one.
Short version: A 28-year-old gets ticketed for speeding in Connecticut. The excuse he gave the trooper? He was in the midst of dunking an Oreo in a glass of milk, but actually dropped the Oreo into the milk. In the process of rescuing the flailing cookie, he lost control of the car.

This sounds a little too far-fetched to be a lie, but even if it were true, I wouldn't tell a police officer that. The dude received tickets for speeding, and for driving with a suspended license. No mention of a ticket for doing something stupid while driving like dunking cookies in milk.

Second, this story.
Short version: There's this "stuff" that they give some prisoners in some states called Nutraloaf. It's made of cubed whole wheat bread, nondairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk and dehydrated potato flakes. Supposedly it's a "complete meal".

Nutraloaf is simply served a piece of plain paper. It is usually given to inmates who use their trays and flatware to throw their feces around (usually at people). Inmates say it is so bad, that there should be due process, including warnings, before they are served nutraloaf. They say it is a punishment. Some state governments have agreed with the inmates, putting structure around the circumstances under which nutraloaf is served. Sounds like punishment to me.

I can't make this stuff up, people.

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Read this on ajc.com today.

The Atlanta Ballet is working on a collabo with Antwan "Big Boi" Patton called "Big".

The Atlanta Ballet's site says that Big Boi and other Purple Ribbon artists will be performing live, on-stage along with the dancers.

Hotness.

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By the way.

I don't know if y'all have been looking for more ILiD posts, or not, but rest assured, more are coming.

The Sun is starting to come out, and folkz in the ATL always get Spring Fever something fierce, so there should be no shortage of material.

Just wanted to let y'all know.

I'm also about to undertake a construction project here at the house. I'm seriously considering posting some before/during/after photos here, assuming I can get clearance from Mrs. Mau, so look for that.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

Holla!

This thing is CRAZY.

This may be the prototype for the first Terminator. It's called the "Big Dog", and it's built by Boston Dynamics.

So much.

Okay, so you may or may not know that a tornado rolled through the core of Atlanta last night around 9:35pm or so. The SEC Tournament was in town, and I was actually on my way there, but I figured that since there would be LOTS of people around, I would be smart, and travel by MARTA. I parked at the Inman Park/Reynoldstown Station.

That's how I found myself on the train on an elevated bridge when the tornado hit. It was a short train, only two cars. There were only around 15 people on board, total. My Mother had just called just before I boarded to see where I was, because she knew I was going out. I assured her that I was in a covered area, and that I was fine. She was very concerned, because their weather radio was telling her that the storm was on a path taking it straight through the city.

We're on the train, and I think the train operator (Ms. Arnold, I found out her name was) sensed something was amiss, so she slowed the train down. Just then, the wind picked up. And the hail started. I can say for a fact that there was at least softball-sized hail, and definitely some that was bigger than that! I seent it with my own eyes.

I think Ms. Arnold was a bit more shaken up than the passengers were. From her vantage point and perspective at the front of the train, she actually saw it coming towards her from the east, traveling west, as the train was traveling west. She said that she could see the electric junction boxes on the telephone poles burn out in showers of sparks, one after the other, cascading up the street. She could also see random debris flying everywhich way. At some point she was trying to make an announcement to the train, and I was very impressed that she didn't utter any expletives in the commotion.

After things settled down a bit, she got us going again. But not for long. As she edged forward, we could see something across the tracks. Part of the guardrail that runs along the train tracks had come dislodged, and was laying all the way across the tracks. Well, let's go back to the station we just left. But there was something blocking the tracks there also. We were stuck.

The highlights of what happened next:

• As you can imagine, there was a...motley...cast of characters on the train. Most of them did not like being stuck. A few of them just kept pacing back and forth. By the end of it, a few of them REALLY had to pee. At least a couple of them had had a couple of drinks. I'm pretty sure I saw one girl smoking a cigarette. Lots of cussin'.
• MARTA had to send some technicians to walk along the tracks, clearing debris.
• Since there was a metal guardrail laying across the electrified track, they had to temporarily cut power to the rail (and the train), to move it.
• That motley cast I mentioned...did NOT like being stuck. In the dark.

1.5 hrs after the storm...we got moving.

So, just after the lights came back on, this exchange happened:

Random young dude who needs an English lesson: "I can borrow your phone(?)."
Me: "What?"
RYDWNEL: "I can borrow your phone(?)."

I hand him the phone.
He makes a call. Has a brief conversation.
Hands the phone back to me, without another word.
No thank you of any sort.
I had to force myself not to say: "Do you mean 'Excuse me, but can I please borrow your phone for a minute?'"

I mean, that's not a question. That's a statement. Home training, and fundamental education. It's not hard. I don't need the boy to be able to pick out participles and maintain complex patterns of subject-verb agreement. Just form a real sentence.

Jeez. Just say Thank You.

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I've got a confession.

I've held on to this one for a WHILE.

I'm not even sure my wife knows this one (she will now).

Do you know how to play chess? Not strategy...just the basics.

If not, read this, and then come back and continue to read.

Okay.

My confession:

When I'm alone. In a hallway. In an elevator. In a courtyard. On a tiled floor.

Sometimes...I walk like a knight. I'll step up one square on the grid, and two squares to the left. Or two squares to the right. Or I'll step up two squares, and one square either to the left or the right.

Always forward, though. Never backwards, because I've got places to go.

There you have it. I walk like a knight.

I'm not ashamed. You got a problem with it? I didn't think so.

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And another thing: My Address Book.

I need a way to keep the contacts in my e-mail and my cellphone all synced-up and current. I'm thinking the best way for this is to start with something like Plaxo.

However...how to keep my Plaxo in sync with my GMail? There's a quandry, huh?

AND

Plaxo is really good about keeping just about every piece of information for a contact that I could want to keep. From mailing addresses to Instant Message IDs. Wait...instant message IDs. Well, I already use Trillian to consolidate all of my IMs accounts across all platforms.

Why is it such a stretch to allow my Trillian to hook into my Plaxo account? Of course, there would have to be a certain amount of...amgibuity, right? Because there's a chance I won't even have a full first and last name for EVERYBODY in my IM list. Maybe I can specify which contacts get consolidated? There are lots of "ifs" and "maybes", but trust me. It's doable.

Oh yeah. And it's all got to be accessible from everywhere. My cellphone, GMail, Mozilla Thunderbird and Trillian. Even Microsoft Outlook if I so desire.

Oh yeah, and somehow link my Plaxo back to my LinkedIn, my Ning(s), and my MySpace and Facebook, even though I don't use either of the latter two.

I haven't lost you, have I? If I have, let me know, and I'll explain it to you. I've got it all drawn out in my head.

Know What I'm Sayin'??